Wishful Thinking

It’s hard to define a boy like you. So lovely and hard to resist. Enchanted by your smile and how soft you kissed. Like a secret two kids would whisper at night you said my name. When you held my hand, I forgot the world with a boy like you. 

You said beautiful words that washed over my face. I experienced true beauty with every look you gave. There was a time you were everything I needed, like air. You, my first love, the boy who made me cry when you said, “I love you”. I remember that I forgot to breathe, and that was the first time, time ever stopped for me. I’ve known it to quiet, but never to stop. A boy like you made time absent. 

As quick as you soothed me you started to burn me. You made me feel broken and how tired you were to have fixed me. I started to cry, often, with you. Though, my tears you expressed were just my way of manipulating you. I struggled to smile through the pain, and then you claimed I was hiding things. You changed your gentle hands and steady eyes to shaking doubt and spewed hate. Regrettable mistakes and things I left unsaid made for irrefutable mistrust. You lived by your word and only that mattered. You still speak ill-words to mask your hurt; seeing the world in your eyes as if other views do not exist. A boy like you taught me about pain.

My mother warned me about a boy like you. When you’re in love you never see the signs or how sweet words are gifts to the mind. Action leads to the heart and you used yours to break mine.

I’m well versed in the lesson and I’ll try to never make that mistake again,

to confuse a man

for a boy like you. 

-AB

Song of the night – How You Feel by Swsh