Wishful Thinking

My biggest fear is loneliness.

Family,

faith,

lovers—

have all left at a time.

I even tried to leave myself.

I’m worse than any ghost,

haunting old places in my mind,

forming a home in the crypt

that occupies my heart.

Nostalgia is a disease

that hinders me.

But my memories

are where my angels lie—

the only place I see their smiles

or hear their voices.

As the days pass,

their voices become faint.

New laughter fills my ears.

I’m resentful,

because I know

the repercussions of happiness.

So forgive me

if some days I’m not present.

Let me relive those moments

before I forget.

Forgive me

if I seem a little lost.

Forgive me

if I don’t trust you’ll stay.

Those of us that are left

gave pieces of ourselves away

when we lost our angels to the sky.

We try to fill the empty spaces.

Still, none of our pieces fit.

Loneliness makes us realize

we are irrevocably—

unfinished.

-AB

Song of the night – Goodbyes by Jorja Smith