Wishful Thinking

How do you start a letter to an old friend?

To an old lover that loves turned bitter?

Once feigning indifference,

Month’s later prone to my own hearts negligence.

I’m on rooftops with inebriated thoughts;

Those choices we made cost a love lost.

How long did you wait before your loneliness got the better of you?

Maybe one day?

Two?

Before you needed Curly Q to light your blunts,

You were high trying to become accustomed to my lack of touch.

You were my drug of choice;

That propelled my lust.

Differentiating my torrid infatuation

And her simplicity,

That now you claim to love.

Forgive me,

How can I speak on her when we had our own problems?

Yet, she looks at me as if your stories were more than enough.

She wasn’t there for the looks you gave in the morning,

How you used to smile with your eyes;

The same ones that read me like a book.

Misreading my anxiety for uncertainty,

Sometimes.

I was certain about you.

She doesn’t see what you do.

Your piercing stares

That mock me.

You and me,

Now victims of silence.

I met your eyes for the first time in months.

Hesitation was at its permanence.

You called me Crazy once,

I rather am crazy than sleeping in a bed with someone I do not love;

I rather crazy than letting my ego impede who I do.

Your stubborn willed heart refused to listen.

My words,

My time,

Your choice,

I wait for your words;

My words are now enough

I wait for

“Hello”

From someone,

I can never give up;

Someone so hard to love.

Asia~Blue

Letter to an Old Friend

7th May 2018

Cincinnati, Ohio

Song of the night – Everlong by Foo Fighters